Before David Posts Something Edifying…

Here is Rick Warren:

40 Ways to Increase Baptisms

# 20. Publicize the baptisms with posters around your church. Elicit “one line” testimonies from people who have been baptized, take an 8×10 photo of that person, and mount their photo and quote on a 2’x3’ foam board sign. Put this on a tri-pod in a visible area after the service where people can sign-up to be baptized.

Let the “its all about me” theme take root.

# 25. Always have the baptism pool warm and chlorinated before services.

This is particularly funny to me because all of my children were baptized when the heater in the baptismal pool was broken.  One daughter even cried, driving many away from obedience I am sure.

# 37. Give a follow-up booklet, a button, and a free gift for those who obey Christ’s command to be baptized.

I suggest cash.  Nothing says devotion like a Benjamin!

#39. When baptizing grade school children, have the baptizing pastor hold their hands lifted high after they come out of the water, like you would with a winner in game.

If possible have Queen’s “We are the Champions” or the theme from Rocky playing in the background.  Follow this up with a screening of the movie Beaches or Rudy.

Ahhh… Baptists.

al sends (HT: What?… Um via David M.)

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3 responses to “Before David Posts Something Edifying…

  1. First you diss the flannelgraph, now this. What’s next, Al – making fun of our Welch’s communion wine? (I jest.)

    On an equally un-serious note: for the life of me I can NOT figure out what your avatar is. It looks like a book cocktail hanging upside down. What is it?

  2. Hey Rob,

    Remember there are Baptists and then there are Baptists…

    My avatar is a close up picture of my medals… I need to put up something more artsy. Yours looks like something out of the 70’s. I like it.

    al sends

  3. Pingback: Rick Warren :: How To Increase Baptism Numbers (Because It All Depends On You) « Vintage Christianity

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